...well there haven't been any planes yet, but I now know how Steve Martin and John Candy felt.
Here's a typical Friday for me:
1. Wake up at the asscrack of dawn. Haul ass to subway and ride if for approx. 45 minutes to somewhere in Manhattan.
2. Wait in line for a bus for well over 45 minutes. Get on bus and pray no one sits next to me (these prayers are never fulfilled).
3. Sit on bus for approx. 5 hours.
4. Arrive in Boston. Exit bus, walk to subway.
5. Take the red line train to Park Street. Get off, transfer to the green line train and take that to Kenmore Square. Total ride time: 1 hour.
6. Get off the train, wait another 20-30 minutes for the 57 bus.
7. Ride the bus for 30 minutes to Brighton.
8. Climb into my car and drive from Brighton to east Cambridge in rush hour traffic (approx. 1 hour).
9. Arrive at my friend Kathryn's condo. Drive around for 15 minutes looking for a parking spot.
10. Park car, enter condo, collapse.
On Sunday I get to experience this all over again, except in reverse!!
I used to LOVE to travel.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Buses SUCK
Part of my plan to move to NYC included the need to come back to Boston on weekends to play gigs that I had already scheduled. No big deal, right? I can just take the bus! I've done that trip dozens of times. Simple!
Bullshit.
Here's the problem with that logic. All of my past trips to and from NYC via bus were spaced-out...maybe a few times a year. If a trip takes longer than expected (more on this in a moment), it's no big deal. However, string a bunch of these trips together over the course of a MONTH and the 'unexpected delays' get very annoying and start to mess up any sort of scheduling I might have planned around my ETA.
I'm in Boston for 2 days and 2 nights. I'm trying to squeeze in as much stuff as I can over that period of time. Gigs, teaching, practice, social hangs, sessions, etc. I still have a lot going on in Boston, so I gotta be frugal with my time. It really SUCKS when I have to dedicate an ENTIRE DAY to making a 225 mile trip, all the while not being able to make any solid plans on said day.
So just to really drive home how buses are the ABSOLUTE WORST way to travel, allow me to entertain you with stories from my last three trips.
Trip #1. I took the Megabus for this one. First thing to know about departing NYC on Megabus: the 'terminal' is nothing more than a bunch of divided lines in a parking lot. It might be 90 degrees. It might be pouring. It might be colder than a witch's titty. Doesn't matter...you're still gonna stand out there in line waiting for your bus. On this particular trip, it was almost 100 degrees out. Did I mention this 'terminal' has no shade whatsoever? So there I am, standing there, sweating up a storm, parched, and guess what? The bus is running late. 45 minutes later, the bus pulls up. I had a terrible sunburn and I'm suffering from extreme dehydration. Ever sat on a bus for 4+ hours with blisters on your shoulders and a monumental headache? Just take the Megabus during the warmer months out of NYC.
Trip #2. I waited too long to book my tickets so everything was expensive. Aly suggests I check out a bus line called Lucky Star. I look it up and it's only $15 each way so I booked a round-trip ticket.
The website says the bus leaves from an address in Chinatown. Red flag #1. So on Friday morning I hauled my ass all the way down there from Queens (50 minutes on the subway) and upon exiting the station I'm welcomed by the stench of rotting meat and throngs of people. I found my way to the bus station (which was nothing more than a small office in between two Chinese restaurants). I got in line to board the bus and the driver started yelling at everyone to "HURRY THE HELL UP WE'RE LATE!!". Nice to see such a display of professionalism!!
Suddenly this asian woman appeared. "Ice cold wahtah one dallah. Ice cold wahtah one dallah." Over and over and over again. I had to step back from the whole scene and chuckle. I felt like I was in the twilight zone.
I got on the bus and luckily I had the row to myself. Unluckily there was a woman sitting behind me speaking LOUDLY in her cellphone. Her 4 year old son was kicking the back of my seat. I gave them a look, and then 15 minutes later I turned around to ask her to please quiet down. "No habla anglais." Uh huh sure.
About an hour into the ride the bus suddenly came to a stop and the driver comes back and yells at everyone to "STOP PRESSING THE GODDAMN NOTIFICATION BUTTON." Very professional.
The rest of the ride up was uneventful, aside from hitting traffic that would have rivaled the 101 in L.A. during rush hour. The return trip was also uneventful, other than when the bathroom backed-up and the entire bus smelled like raw sewage for the rest of the trip. Yep, good times.
Trip #3. This morning I decided to take an earlier bus because I needed to make a rehearsal in Boston around 7pm. I figured the 10am bus would give me plenty of time EVEN if there was traffic.
Nice try.
First of all, the bus was nearly an hour late. Then, it took over an hour just to get out of Manhattan. This was partly due to the fact that the bus randomly stopped for 30 minutes near 130th street. No explanation from the driver. We just pulled over and chilled out for awhile.
So finally when the bus DID get going, the trip wasn't so bad. Unbelievably we hit stop and go traffic at 2 in the afternoon but it didn't last long. We roll on into Boston, and with all the delays prior I was just barely going to make this rehearsal. Then it all goes to shit.
We were on the pike somewhere downtown. The bus was about to enter into a tunnel when suddenly it pulled over. 15 minutes went by and FINALLY the driver got on the intercom and explained that we were 'being held for a few moments in order to get the bus back on schedule'. WTF?? No one had a clue what this meant, but we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
30 minutes later the driver came back on the intercom and explained that the bus could not fit in the tunnel and we were waiting for state police to help us back out. Everyone thought it was a joke. It wasn't. The cops show up and apparently they told the driver that we could go into the tunnel but we had to take the first exit. This put us somewhere slightly off-course but we were a matter of blocks from south station. We drove up the ramp, off of the pike, and onto a surface road. Everyone in the bus cheered (no joke).
Then we stopped at a traffic light....for 20 minutes. Again, like in Manhattan, no explanation.
One guy got up, banged on the door, and got out. People started yelling. Anger began to spread throughout the Megabus. I just held my head in my hands and tried to laugh.
Finally the bus started moving, and again everyone in the bus cheered. We started down one road, made a turn, then went halfway through an intersection. We stopped and then started backing up. The problem is, the driver couldn't see where he was going. A woman who was waiting in the blocked traffic got out of her car and started waving the driver through. Amazing.
So we backed up and made the turn. Then the bus comes to a screeching halt. Apparently the driver didn't mean to make this turn after all. So what does he do? He pulls a U-TURN right in the motherfucking middle of downtown Boston. I still can't believe it, but he did it. Double-decker bus...downtown Boston...rush hour....u-turn....pretty insane eh??
So after executing this retarded u-turn we got back on track and made it to south station.
Everyone cheered once again.
So, I hope these stories have shed some light onto why my attitude towards buses is slightly negative. Unfortunately I've already booked my return bus trip to NYC on Sunday. However, screw saving the $50 or whatever it is. I'm taking the fucking train from now on!!!!
Bullshit.
Here's the problem with that logic. All of my past trips to and from NYC via bus were spaced-out...maybe a few times a year. If a trip takes longer than expected (more on this in a moment), it's no big deal. However, string a bunch of these trips together over the course of a MONTH and the 'unexpected delays' get very annoying and start to mess up any sort of scheduling I might have planned around my ETA.
I'm in Boston for 2 days and 2 nights. I'm trying to squeeze in as much stuff as I can over that period of time. Gigs, teaching, practice, social hangs, sessions, etc. I still have a lot going on in Boston, so I gotta be frugal with my time. It really SUCKS when I have to dedicate an ENTIRE DAY to making a 225 mile trip, all the while not being able to make any solid plans on said day.
So just to really drive home how buses are the ABSOLUTE WORST way to travel, allow me to entertain you with stories from my last three trips.
Trip #1. I took the Megabus for this one. First thing to know about departing NYC on Megabus: the 'terminal' is nothing more than a bunch of divided lines in a parking lot. It might be 90 degrees. It might be pouring. It might be colder than a witch's titty. Doesn't matter...you're still gonna stand out there in line waiting for your bus. On this particular trip, it was almost 100 degrees out. Did I mention this 'terminal' has no shade whatsoever? So there I am, standing there, sweating up a storm, parched, and guess what? The bus is running late. 45 minutes later, the bus pulls up. I had a terrible sunburn and I'm suffering from extreme dehydration. Ever sat on a bus for 4+ hours with blisters on your shoulders and a monumental headache? Just take the Megabus during the warmer months out of NYC.
Trip #2. I waited too long to book my tickets so everything was expensive. Aly suggests I check out a bus line called Lucky Star. I look it up and it's only $15 each way so I booked a round-trip ticket.
The website says the bus leaves from an address in Chinatown. Red flag #1. So on Friday morning I hauled my ass all the way down there from Queens (50 minutes on the subway) and upon exiting the station I'm welcomed by the stench of rotting meat and throngs of people. I found my way to the bus station (which was nothing more than a small office in between two Chinese restaurants). I got in line to board the bus and the driver started yelling at everyone to "HURRY THE HELL UP WE'RE LATE!!". Nice to see such a display of professionalism!!
Suddenly this asian woman appeared. "Ice cold wahtah one dallah. Ice cold wahtah one dallah." Over and over and over again. I had to step back from the whole scene and chuckle. I felt like I was in the twilight zone.
I got on the bus and luckily I had the row to myself. Unluckily there was a woman sitting behind me speaking LOUDLY in her cellphone. Her 4 year old son was kicking the back of my seat. I gave them a look, and then 15 minutes later I turned around to ask her to please quiet down. "No habla anglais." Uh huh sure.
About an hour into the ride the bus suddenly came to a stop and the driver comes back and yells at everyone to "STOP PRESSING THE GODDAMN NOTIFICATION BUTTON." Very professional.
The rest of the ride up was uneventful, aside from hitting traffic that would have rivaled the 101 in L.A. during rush hour. The return trip was also uneventful, other than when the bathroom backed-up and the entire bus smelled like raw sewage for the rest of the trip. Yep, good times.
Trip #3. This morning I decided to take an earlier bus because I needed to make a rehearsal in Boston around 7pm. I figured the 10am bus would give me plenty of time EVEN if there was traffic.
Nice try.
First of all, the bus was nearly an hour late. Then, it took over an hour just to get out of Manhattan. This was partly due to the fact that the bus randomly stopped for 30 minutes near 130th street. No explanation from the driver. We just pulled over and chilled out for awhile.
So finally when the bus DID get going, the trip wasn't so bad. Unbelievably we hit stop and go traffic at 2 in the afternoon but it didn't last long. We roll on into Boston, and with all the delays prior I was just barely going to make this rehearsal. Then it all goes to shit.
We were on the pike somewhere downtown. The bus was about to enter into a tunnel when suddenly it pulled over. 15 minutes went by and FINALLY the driver got on the intercom and explained that we were 'being held for a few moments in order to get the bus back on schedule'. WTF?? No one had a clue what this meant, but we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
30 minutes later the driver came back on the intercom and explained that the bus could not fit in the tunnel and we were waiting for state police to help us back out. Everyone thought it was a joke. It wasn't. The cops show up and apparently they told the driver that we could go into the tunnel but we had to take the first exit. This put us somewhere slightly off-course but we were a matter of blocks from south station. We drove up the ramp, off of the pike, and onto a surface road. Everyone in the bus cheered (no joke).
Then we stopped at a traffic light....for 20 minutes. Again, like in Manhattan, no explanation.
One guy got up, banged on the door, and got out. People started yelling. Anger began to spread throughout the Megabus. I just held my head in my hands and tried to laugh.
Finally the bus started moving, and again everyone in the bus cheered. We started down one road, made a turn, then went halfway through an intersection. We stopped and then started backing up. The problem is, the driver couldn't see where he was going. A woman who was waiting in the blocked traffic got out of her car and started waving the driver through. Amazing.
So we backed up and made the turn. Then the bus comes to a screeching halt. Apparently the driver didn't mean to make this turn after all. So what does he do? He pulls a U-TURN right in the motherfucking middle of downtown Boston. I still can't believe it, but he did it. Double-decker bus...downtown Boston...rush hour....u-turn....pretty insane eh??
So after executing this retarded u-turn we got back on track and made it to south station.
Everyone cheered once again.
So, I hope these stories have shed some light onto why my attitude towards buses is slightly negative. Unfortunately I've already booked my return bus trip to NYC on Sunday. However, screw saving the $50 or whatever it is. I'm taking the fucking train from now on!!!!
Friday, September 9, 2011
My eyes are open
I had a rather sheltered childhood in Maine. I was never exposed to things like poverty or extreme racism. When I moved to Boston for college, I definitely got an eyeful and my perspective on life changed drastically. Ever since then I've tried my best to give back by teaching, volunteering, whatever I can do to help others, particularly those who are less fortunate.
I thought I knew everything about what made the world turn after living in Boston and doing some world-traveling.
Then I moved to NYC.
In the two weeks since I arrived I've seen levels of poverty and racism here that far exceed anything I've seen in my 34 years. My perspective on life is changing once again, except this time it's not in a positive way. I'm finding myself feeling a lot of sadness lately, and at first I thought it was just from missing my friends, family, and former home. But it isn't that.
There's so much hatred in our world and it's fully permeated our so-called "free" society. I think it's hard to fully understand or appreciate how bad it really is without living somewhere like NYC where people are piled on-top of each other...people from all different backgrounds; particularly culturally and socioeconomically. I see a 'tipping point' of sorts that gets exceeded all the time in the big city. And it's ugly, disappointing, but most of all sad.
I'm not on a soap-box here. I'm not trying to point out a problem with an underlying intention to get people to think about how to fix it. That isn't the purpose of this blog. I'm just describing my experiences. And at this point, my experience of NYC is the most poignant love/hate relationship I've ever had.
I thought I knew everything about what made the world turn after living in Boston and doing some world-traveling.
Then I moved to NYC.
In the two weeks since I arrived I've seen levels of poverty and racism here that far exceed anything I've seen in my 34 years. My perspective on life is changing once again, except this time it's not in a positive way. I'm finding myself feeling a lot of sadness lately, and at first I thought it was just from missing my friends, family, and former home. But it isn't that.
There's so much hatred in our world and it's fully permeated our so-called "free" society. I think it's hard to fully understand or appreciate how bad it really is without living somewhere like NYC where people are piled on-top of each other...people from all different backgrounds; particularly culturally and socioeconomically. I see a 'tipping point' of sorts that gets exceeded all the time in the big city. And it's ugly, disappointing, but most of all sad.
I'm not on a soap-box here. I'm not trying to point out a problem with an underlying intention to get people to think about how to fix it. That isn't the purpose of this blog. I'm just describing my experiences. And at this point, my experience of NYC is the most poignant love/hate relationship I've ever had.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Weekend back in Boston
Part of my plan to move to NYC included returning to Boston on the weekends to do gigs I have previously booked. This weekend was my first jaunt back to beantown.
I drove up on Saturday morning. I left Queens around 7am as I had to be at my studio in Winchester to teach a lesson at noon and I wanted some time to chill beforehand. I figured the chances of hitting traffic that early in the morning were slim.
Wrong.
Just as I got into Westchester the highway turned into a parking lot. Took 30 minutes to get through it, and there was no apparent cause. Traffic jams with no obvious reason are the worst!!
I managed to average 80-85mph for the rest of the drive so despite the mysterious traffic jam I still made it to my studio at around 11:30. Taught the lesson and then enjoyed a nice long 4-hour practice session. I hadn't played in nearly a week so it felt great to sink my teeth into my regular regimen.
Saturday night I visited my friends Louis and Jannine. I've known them for around 10 years and they're like family to me. They have two beautiful daughters whom I've watched grow up. It's been nice as I've lived vicariously through their child-bearing experiences and I get a bit of the 'family' experience while remaining single and childless (which is on purpose).
Sunday I chilled out with my friend Kathryn (whom is so generously offering her couch to me during my weekend visits to Boston) and her little terrier Body. The hectic and logistically nightmarish lifestyle I've created could not be possible without amazing friends like Kathryn, and while I know she'll never read this blog (she's too busy), I have to send her much love and thanks for everything she's doing for me.
Sunday night I had a gig with my GB band Freestyle at the Museum of Science in Cambridge. I've been working with that band for 7 years now and I consider all of the band members dear friends. I know the remaining gigs I have with this band may well be my last so I'm trying to cherish the times I spend with these truly amazing musicians and human beings while they last. It's rare to get 9 people together and make great music night after night without tons of drama and bullshit.
I drove up on Saturday morning. I left Queens around 7am as I had to be at my studio in Winchester to teach a lesson at noon and I wanted some time to chill beforehand. I figured the chances of hitting traffic that early in the morning were slim.
Wrong.
Just as I got into Westchester the highway turned into a parking lot. Took 30 minutes to get through it, and there was no apparent cause. Traffic jams with no obvious reason are the worst!!
I managed to average 80-85mph for the rest of the drive so despite the mysterious traffic jam I still made it to my studio at around 11:30. Taught the lesson and then enjoyed a nice long 4-hour practice session. I hadn't played in nearly a week so it felt great to sink my teeth into my regular regimen.
Saturday night I visited my friends Louis and Jannine. I've known them for around 10 years and they're like family to me. They have two beautiful daughters whom I've watched grow up. It's been nice as I've lived vicariously through their child-bearing experiences and I get a bit of the 'family' experience while remaining single and childless (which is on purpose).
Sunday I chilled out with my friend Kathryn (whom is so generously offering her couch to me during my weekend visits to Boston) and her little terrier Body. The hectic and logistically nightmarish lifestyle I've created could not be possible without amazing friends like Kathryn, and while I know she'll never read this blog (she's too busy), I have to send her much love and thanks for everything she's doing for me.
Sunday night I had a gig with my GB band Freestyle at the Museum of Science in Cambridge. I've been working with that band for 7 years now and I consider all of the band members dear friends. I know the remaining gigs I have with this band may well be my last so I'm trying to cherish the times I spend with these truly amazing musicians and human beings while they last. It's rare to get 9 people together and make great music night after night without tons of drama and bullshit.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The subway no longer makes my head spin
I think I have the subway figured out now...mostly. I've been getting around on it by myself and so far so good. Also, Aly turned me onto a site called hopstop.com. Amazing!! I put the app on my phone and it's completely brilliant. Anyone with a smartphone who lives in a major metropolitan area should get this...you'll never be lost again.
Oh and just a quick anecdote. I spotted Reggie Watts in Brooklyn last night. I asked him to sing my favorite song of his, "Fuck Shit Stack" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJQU22Ttpwc), but he said he can't perform it unless he has a dancing group of hipster chicks behind him. I scratched my head....but we're in Williamsburg? Should be easy to make that happen...
Oh and just a quick anecdote. I spotted Reggie Watts in Brooklyn last night. I asked him to sing my favorite song of his, "Fuck Shit Stack" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJQU22Ttpwc), but he said he can't perform it unless he has a dancing group of hipster chicks behind him. I scratched my head....but we're in Williamsburg? Should be easy to make that happen...
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